Friday, February 27, 2009

happy 1 month.


I can not believe Laila is one month old today. Even though it has been a whirlwind of experiences and it feels like forever ago I was in the hospital, I still can't believe she came into the world a month ago. I am cherishing everyday because time flies by so fast. She is already pretty much holding her head up by herself! Happy 1 month my sunshine. Mama and Dada love you!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

lactose free for me.

Baby girl has had an excessive amount of gas causing her to have an upset tummy. Being new parents, Jason and I of course feel so bad for her and try everything to make her feel better. Last night it took forever for us to get her to sleep. Jason fed her her late night feeding so I can rest up (been a little sleep deprived...I get at least 8 hours which is great for a new mom, but it's all broken sleep). Barely in a deep sleep, I awoke at about 11 p.m. to Laila crying. Poor hubbie looked at me feeling bad and said "I have tried everything." Not everything...I put her in her carseat and we went for a late night drive around the block. She loves the car. It definantly worked and calmed her down. We were finally able to get some sleep until 4:30 p.m. Laila didn't want to eat or latch on, so I rocked her back to sleep. She fell asleep for another 2 hours then wanted to eat. Laila's papou told us she might be sensitive to lactose. So we decided for now that I will watch what I eat and stick with the lactose free milk (I do love my milk!) along with all other products that can cause gas. No dairy, no broccoli, onions...you know pretty much all the good stuff. If you know me well enough, you would know that this is extremely hard for me. We also switched her formula (for when we have to suppliment) to the Similac Sensitive. Let's see if this will work and that's what has been upsetting her little belly...we will try it for a couple days. I just want Laila to feel good, and I will do whatever I have to do...even if that is changing what I eat for a little while. Then I will start introducing things back into my diet. I know where she gets her sensitive tummy from...her daddy. My poor baby.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

baby carriers.

I put one of those baby slings on my registry and got it as a shower gift. When I first saw it I thought, "oh wow! This looks convenient!" Man, was I wrong! I tried it out with Laila the other day and I could barely get her out. She was all crammed and not able to see a thing. I would be scared I would suffocate the poor girl. Now I am going to invest in one of the front carriers. I want Laila to see the outside world and not be in the stroller all the time when we go for our walks or family outings. Let's hope that it comes to good use.


Ultimate Baby Wrap (still looks a little complicated...i'm sure it's harder then it looks)

Baby Bjorn (possibly a little too bulky)


mommy & baby.

My hormones are still wacky. I feel like I'm going through early menopause with how bad my hot flashes are. Plus I am breaking out worse then a teenager going through puberty.

All I want to do is eat. I guess Laila isn't the only one who wants to eat every 3 hours...her mama does too!

I am having contraction like cramps. Mom says it's because my uterus is shrinking back to normal size.

I still have that numb feeling down by my incision and it is still a little swollen. Plus I have sharp pains that shoot down in that area. Nerves coming back together I guess. Laila is so worth having my "baby scar" down there. The healing process is taking longer then I thought, but you won't be able to even notice that the doctor cut me open.

My tummy is still a little flabby from being so stretched out. I can't wait to be fully recovered so I can take Laila running in our jogging stroller or hit up the gym again.

I have the permenant smell of baby spit up on me. For some reason, I love it. Jason says he wants to bottle up Laila's new baby smell and sell it.

My boobs are producing so much milk now. It is so funny when I go to latch Laila on my boob, my milk squirts all over her face when I am really engourged. Looks like I had a boob job done, hard as rocks and don't do the saggy thing (kinda nice...to bad it doesn't stay that way).

Both mama & laila are doing well. Each day is a new experience and I absolutely love it!

Oh and just a little side note: Laila is holding up her head for a good 5 seconds by herself. She is so strong and is so good with her motor skills. It will be a month on Tuesday and our baby girl seems to already be growing up so fast. This stage is so much fun. She will now want to be more active. I put her in her swing so it gives me the chance to get stuff done around the house. She loves it and makes it so easy for me. We just put her in stage 1 pampers (they seem to be a little big), but the newborns were getting snugg and her explosive poops would go up her back and through her clothes. Leaving mommy to do a load of laundry everyday...which I hate! God I love her.

Monday, February 16, 2009

3 weeks.

I can not believe 3 weeks have already gone by. So much has seemed to happen and change in that short amount of time. Laila had a check up at the doc's since she lost so much weight while we were in the hospital. Well...our little pea went from 7 lbs. 11 oz. to 9 lbs 6 oz. in a matter of 2 weeks! We got ourselves a little chunker now. Sooo happy! (oh! and she is off the charts with her height...22 1/2 inches long now....no surprise there considering her ma and da are both tall). We can cut back on the formula for now and she should be good with my breastmilk. I am so fortunate that Laila will pretty much take to anything. She will take a bottle or still latch on to my breast and I don't have any worries that even though we started her on the bottle she won't take to my boob. I was so worried about breastfeeding, but she has made it so easy on me. It is exhausting and not the easiest thing feeding every 2-3 hours...but as everyone says it is such a great bond you get to share with your child. I just wish our little chunk would let me build up my milk supply. I am pumping about once a day and I want to do it more. I am waking up in the middle of the night engourged and leaking all over the bed. It goes right through the nursing pads and my bra! eeek! Not fun waking up in a puddle of milk. Laila then empties my boobies and a couple hours go by and they are hard as rocks again. But phew...at least now I know Laila isn't starving with how many pounds she packed on. Let's keep up the boobie feedings for as long as I can. I know it will just get easier, plus it gives Laila all the vitamins and good stuff she needs. But once it's time for the jar foods...no more latching on for our little girl. I will continue to pump and bottle breastfeed.

All this breastfeeding is great for not only Laila, but me too! I have pretty much lost all my prego weight and my legs are skinnier then they were before. Now I just need to build up some muscle and start hitting the gym again. I will definantly be using our jogging stroller once I am fully healed from the surgery. I don't quite think I can fit into my jeans yet (I haven't tried), but I will be working on it. My hormones are way out of wack right now, and I feel super tired lately, but this too shall pass and like the Darius Rucker song, it won't be like this for long. Everyone can't believe that I just had a baby 3 weeks ago. How lucky am I?

Next appt.: March 16th for Laila's shots...my poor baby girl. Our calender is full for the next couple months. We have so much to look forward to.
Hubs and I are truly blessed with such a beautiful and well behaved baby.


at the doctor for her 3 week checkup with Dr. Freddie Alvarez

Sunday, February 15, 2009

my valentine.

Cupid's arrow struck me hard. Laila had a great first Hearts Day! (Even though she doesn't look too happy in this picture.) She is so loved and we are so blessed!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

little hungry monster.

My morning started at 7 a.m. for feeding time. Laila was ready to latch on to my milkiepops as she normally does every three hours. She seemed to be getting enough. A little over ten minutes on each side and she was always done. I let her keep sucking until she pulls away (unless she starts chomping down because she is falling asleep). She was so alert and seemed to be having one of her good days. She fell back asleep and I awoke her to change her out of her pj's so we can go visit some friends. Before we left it was feeding time again. Where the three hours go...I have no idea. She was all set in her carseat and calm as can be. She loves riding in the car...puts her right to sleep. Once we got to our location, she started whaling! I figured it was just because she got woken up from dreamland. Luckily I had brought a bottle of breastmilk. She took to it for about 10 seconds then pulled away. I didn't know what was wrong. She never screams that loud. I figured maybe it was gas or her diaper needed changing. Still didn't do anything...she was screaming bloody murder. I then put her back in the carseat and headed for home. We were in the car and she was still screaming. I stepped in the door and popped her onto a boob. She must of still been hungry because she was sucking away. Not for long though...she pulled away and started up those lungs again. We always have formula in the house just in case since we had the situation in the hospital and we had to suppliment her then. So I grabbed some Similac to see if that's what was bothering her. She scarfed down two, two ounce bottles in a matter of 30 seconds. Laila must of been starving and the breastmilk wasn't cutting it for her. The doc said in the hospital that we might need to suppliment with her because she was a decent size baby. She loves to eat...just like her mama. Even after the formula, she was still a little hungry, more so tired and she was fighting it. Finally after a good hour she fell asleep. Three hours go by, she awakes...and ready to eat again.
We talked with Dr. Pantages (Laila's Papou). He said that this is the time that she is going through her growth spurt and it is totally normal. So for now...we decided to do both breastfeeding and formula. Plus I am still pumping. She eats so much she doesn't give my milk any time to produce back up, which makes pumping hard. And then after I pump, she gets hungry and I have no supply left for her. Errr. Breastfeeding craziness! But I'm not giving up on it. I will do the breastfeeding and we will suppliment at night or whenever she seems to need it. I have a good 9 ounces of breastmilk saved in little baggies. Those seem to go pretty fast though. This is all a part of motherhood...and you know what...even though I feel like a walking zombie some days...I am totally loving it.

Monday, February 9, 2009

one year ago today.

I can not believe it has been a year since my dearest friend and boss, Vicky, passed away. She is still missed and thought about everyday. I can still hear her laugh and see her smile. I keep all our memories close to my heart. She was one of those special people that touches your life. Her kind spirit and contagious personality made me not mind going to work every morning. She was beautiful inside and out and I am so greatful that she was in my life.
At my age I have experienced a lot with death. It's not fair how people are taken from us way to soon. I have a ton of guardian angels up there watching over me and my family and not a day goes by where I don’t think about them.

"The guardian angels of life fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us."
Vicky and I at the Jazz festival...right after we met Kenny G.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

life changing.

The birth of our little girl was an experience we will never forget. It was the most rewarding and amazing time of our life thus far, but also the worst time we ever had to encounter. Let me break it down for you...



Day 1-Monday, January 26th: Jason and I arrived at the hospital at 6:15 p.m. to be induced. This was scheduled about 2 weeks in advance. We were hoping we wouldn't have to do it this way and she would come naturally, but things don't always go the way you want them to. We checked in and got set up in our beautiful "suite" (these rooms were practically like being in an upscale hotel...minus the many monitors). I was extremely nervous knowing that possibly in a couple hours I would be going through labor. They took some blood, checked how dilated I was (still 2 cm.) and set me up to the fetal heart monitor. My doctor recommended that I have cervadelle inserted first since I was a good percent effaced. This helps soften the cervix and it has to be kept in for 12 hours. I was not too happy. I thought I would have been done with everything way before that. So, Nurse Olivia (our night nurse) just told me to relax and get some sleep. She gave me some sleeping medicine through the IV that made me feel drunk. I felt great! We all camped out in the room...Jason on a cot, my mom in a reclining chair, and my mother in law on the pull out couch. They weren't going anywhere just in case something happened overnight...everyone else was just waiting for the overnight call.



Day 2- Tuesday, January 27th: Still in a fog from the sleeping meds that I was on, I awoke to Dr. Marks and our new Nurse Michelle at 8 a.m. At this point I was extremely crampy from the cervadelle. I figured the doc was in to set me up for the actual induction of the pitocin. He pulled out the cervadelle and checked to see if any progress was made. Now I was 3 cm dilated. He told me he would be back in 45 minutes to break my water. This was it...I was terrified and couldn't stop shaking. I knew that once your water breaks the contractions get really bad. I tried to relax and prepare myself for meeting our baby girl. I get up, use the restroom, and come out to the doc and nurse preparing to break my water (what happened to 45 minutes...oh my! I wasn't ready yet!). I layed down and took a deep breath. This couldn't be too painful, the "poker" wasn't that big. Whoa! My water gushed everywhere! I had so much I could of filled a jacuzzi tub. It was such a weird feeling...incontrolable, and now I was glad that it didn't happen at home. The doctor couldn't believe how much fluids came out of me. Immediatly after the breaking of the water, I felt contractions. They came fast and were coming every which seemed like 2 minutes. I asked when I could have the epidural. They say whenever I want, and I said...give it to me NOW! My contractions were so painful I started to feel naucious. I tried my breathing, but it didn't seem to help. In comes the anesthesiologist to give me my epi. I could barely get out the bed I was in so much pain. The anesthesiologist told me they could do it lying down. At this point I wasn't even scared about the epidural. I was poked with so many needles already it wouldn't of phased me. Jason was right there holding my hand through each contraction. The epidural was done and now I was just waiting for it to take affect. Dr. Marks and Michelle were monitoring Laila's heartbeat. It didn't seem to be right. It got down to 95. So they inserted a heart monitor vaginally to place it on the baby's head. They kept having me flip sides to get her to change her positions. I barely knew what was going on at this point. All of a sudden, her heartbeat got down in the 60's. Not good. The doctor throws a gown at Jason and tells him get this on now, we are taking her in for an emergency c-section. All I remember is looking up at the ceiling in shock and worrying about loosing my little girl. They immediately wheel me in to the op room, have me slide onto the op table and put me to sleep. They had no time to do a normal c-section. They had to knock me out cold. Laila's heartbeat dropped so low because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her three times...twice around her body and once around her neck. Once they broke my water the cord constricted around her. At 10:09 a.m. she was born and it was a relief! From what hubbie and my family tells me...it was a really big scare. Everyone was worried about me and the baby.

About 3 hours after she was born I woke up. I was hooked up to so many monitors. I still had the epi and foley catheter in, along with God only knows what else. My legs were tingly. I wasn't able to do much. I was sitting there in just a hospital gown and nothing else and had people changing me "down there". I felt like an old worthless woman. I had so many things done to me that morning nothing seemed to scare me now. I remember hearing so many people in the room. She already had a ton of visitors. Everyone was saying how they couldn't believe how alert she was already. Her eyes wide open and just wanting to see the world. It took a lot for me to open my eyes, but I wanted to see Laila and know that everything was ok. Jason brought her over to me and I got to see our baby for the first time. It was love at first sight. The first thing I saw were her little hands and I said to Jason "She needs her nails cut." ha! I was on so many meds, I barely remember anything about that day. I never imagined this was the way that I would "give birth". Passed out and not even having to push, but it is what had to be done. I am greatful for how it happened...because any other way could of been a risk to Laila's life. It was all a blur, but I know that it was the best day of my life.



Day 3-Wednesday, January 28th: Waking up the morning after you have a baby is so surreal. You look over and see your little creation laying there and realizing after a long 9 months they are finally here. Having a c-section is extremely tough. It is a major surgery and takes a lot to recover. It was hard for me to not be able to get up to change Laila's diapers or if I wanted to hold her I had to ask someone to hand her to me, but need to be careful not to hurt my incision. Lucky me...my incision is so low and my stitches disolve. I will barely have a scar and even if I did It's were no one can see (except hubbie of course). I was finally able to be disconnected from all the monitors they had me hooked up to. The only thing that had to be kept in was the IV. I was now able to get up and walk around and take a shower! Thank goodness...because I felt like a stunk! I was swollen and just getting out of bed caused me pain. This also made the breastfeeding process a difficult one. I couldn't do it on my own. Someone would have to hold Laila for me. Jason was there with me the entire time and he played mommy while I was getting better. He changed all of her diapers and got up in the middle of the night when she started crying. I was so tired and was still recovering from the craziness from the previous day. I was put on motrin and percocet to help ease the pain. I was barely able to keep my eyes open most of the time, and in the middle of breastfeeding I found myself falling asleep. My milk didn't come in yet, so Laila was just getting the colostrum (which is the best stuff for her). I barely got any sleep because I had to feed every 2-3 hours. Visitors were in and out all day long to see the newest addition of our family. I was trying to get rest, but it was hard with nurses coming in every hour all day long and having friends and family visiting. There was just so much excitement! But even the next day of Laila being born was a blur. I was having difficulty going to the bathroom and it concerned the nurses. Everytime I went they had to measure how many cc's of pee I was emptying out and then take the bladder scanner to check and see how much was still there. If I didn't empty out my bladder to were it was below 50 cc's they would have to put the cathetor back in, and I did not want that! How uncomfortable! So I tried everything to go to take a good size pee...walked the halls to get my flow back, put a warm compress on my tummy, stood in the warm shower, sat on the toilet with the water running, drank lots of water...still didn't work. They ran the scanner over my tummy and it read 200 cc's left in my badder. And you know what that meant...had to put in the cathetor. It didn't have to stay in, but the nurse had to put a temporary one in to just empty it. After that my bladder seemed to be back to normal. But after all the pain and things I went through the day before, I was not looking forward to having another procedure done to me. My hormones were going crazy and any little thing made me upset or want to cry. And if you have never had a cathetor in before...it is not the most comfortable thing in the world. I was just happy that was over with and I was able to get on with my day and enjoy my little girl. I was at least functioning a little better, even though I still had some pain. I knew that we were going to be in the hospital until at least Friday. I did not want to be stuck in here for my birthday. As visitors started weaning their way out, Jason and I settled down and got ready for bed. The nurse came in to weigh Laila like they do every night. She was down to 7 lbs. 5 oz. I didn't worry because I knew babies loose some of their weight. This was a rough night...Laila wouldn't stop crying. We were trying everything. Like any new parents, we were concerned something was wrong. Was she getting enough to eat? The colostrum must not of been enough for her. So we had one of those first time long nights.

Day 4-Thursday, January 29th: After barely getting any sleep, the pediatrician came in and saw how Laila was crying. We told him she was up all night crying and I was feeding her like normal. He told us she would possibly need to have a suppliment to get her weight going back up and since I wasn't yet producing milk (which could of still taken a couple more days because of me having to go into surgery). I was kind of upset...I felt I was being successful with breastfeeding and I was excited about it. So we supplimented a little bit and I continued to breastfeed. Nothing I could of done...I just wanted our little snuggle bug healthy. I was finally getting out of my foggy stage. Even though the entire time in the hospital I was in a daze, I knew that we would be going home tomorrow and there would be no nurses to bother me. As much as I loved the room service, the company, and being spoiled with people helping me...I was ready to take our little girl home and start my mama routine. I was able to do a lot more as the days went on. I walked Laila through the halls so I can get some excercise, walked with hubbie down to the cafeteria, and just packed all of our many belongings we brought and received. I felt a lot better at this point...people had to remind me to rest since I had a major operation. Doesn't phase me...I am always wanting to be on the go no matter how much pain I'm in. We still had people coming by to see Laila. All three of us are so loved and blessed with such wonderful people in our lives. Oh! and they weighed Laila before sleepytime. She went up a couple ounces, which we were happy about.

Day 5-Friday, January 30th: We got the ok to go home. The pediatrician wanted to see Laila tomorrow to check her weight. We were so happy to finally be getting out of there. It felt like months went by. Jason made about 3 trips to the car to load all our bags, flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals that we got. They got me in my wheelchair, put Laila in my arms and we headed for home. This was so surreal. We were now on our own...our own little family. We knew we had plenty of people that were willing to help us, but it was just so surreal. Laila in the backseat sleeping soundly. Jason was driving the speed limit...which is not normally like him to do. It was such a great feeling. We pulled in the driveway and hear the dogs barking. We set Laila down so they can do some sniffing. They were confused. Laila slept the entire day. She was warn out from crying all night before. Everything finally felt complete...our sweetheart was home!

The next day we took Laila to her doctors appt. We are still working hard to get her back up to her birth weight. The breastfeeding is coming easier and yay! My milk finally came in...on my birthday! Some present! I have to feed her every 3 hours. We are so blessed with such a beautiful baby. She is so good and only cries when she is hungry or when we are changing her diaper. I still can't believe she is ours! Never did I think how her birth happened was how it was going to be...I thought I would be able to see her right away and be up and ready to go after a day or two. But I look at it now and am thankful for the way things happened. God was watching over us and it's the way it was meant to be. How lucky are we?